Healthy Relationships: Seven Sweeping Suggestions Before You Take the Plunge! Part 2

Friends

Does this new sweetie like your friends? Do you like his? You’ve probably known your friends a lot longer than you’ve known this particular “new love.” If he does not like your friends, it could limit your contact with them. Is that a problem? Another scenario might be that she would rather spend more time with her friends than with you. These are all thoughts to take into consideration.

Control

Are you a control freak? Are you dating one? This is not a drill! Control freaks love what they do. So if you’re dating one, you should love it, too. If you are one, find someone who thinks what you do is delightful and creative. If you’ve been living your life how you like it so far, but this new person is changing everything, examine the situation. Don’t be bowled-over by a pretty face; perspectives change when compassion, respect and trust are lost.

Activity Level

Generally speaking, a mountain climber probably wouldn’t hook up with a couch potato, but this is life, and stranger things have happened. Do you like hikes and he likes long naps on Sunday afternoons? Could he work on his car for hours and hours and hours? Would she rather spend her Saturdays shopping in the mall or bargain hunting, than lounging around recouping from a hectic, stressful week of work. If you have to mutter again and again, “come on, let’s do something,” would it make you feel irritated, resentful, and annoyed, or would you take it in stride?

The Parents

Consider carefully when meeting his parents. Does he enjoy his parents? Are they close without being meddlesome? Can you imagine holiday dinners with them? Do you have the sense that they like you? How does your boyfriend/fiancee/future husband act around them? Are they nice to each other? All of these questions have significance because you are not just marrying this one person. You are marrying “into” the entire family!

So when you have found this lovely, vital person with whom you want to live forever and ever, think about the things that will be there after those first amazing six months. Do you suddenly really see how different your values are? Are there small problems that tend to be fixed by saying, “wow, you lose your keys a lot,” and suddenly the keys are never (or rarely) lost again? Or, are there big problems like really bad tempers or strangling possessiveness?

Honestly asking yourself how you feel and react to your future mate’s character will help you form the right choice in the most important decision you will ever make.

And once you have considered the previous seven suggestions and how well your life, philosophy, thoughts and actions dovetail with your new sweetheart’s, then you can be considered a great match! Because looking forward to marriage and a partnership in a lifelong commitment is an uplifting human experience, and it can be the most beneficial relationship you will ever have.

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October 5th, 2011 - Posted in Women's Health | | Comments Off

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